dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
