So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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