Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
