he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
