You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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