Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That's intense
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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