Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
