Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize
