That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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