Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
should my penis look like a turkey
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
