what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
