$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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