Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
