my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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