sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
