When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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