we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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