what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
zippers are such a cool invention
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
