Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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