My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
