Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
