How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize