I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
