Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
