So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
