Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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