He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
