would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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