so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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