I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
