he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
BRING THE BAGELS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
