I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize