im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
