I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
...so i touched it.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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