sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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