i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
