so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
