Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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