he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
