I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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