so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I touched a dick in church today
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