i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize