8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
