Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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