she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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