you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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