The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
