2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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