woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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