Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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