who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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