Already got asked if we're dating
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
did you just send me my own nude
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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