You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
