I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
