This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
