Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
