And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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