i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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