everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
