never play flip cup with pint glasses
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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