you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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