I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
