I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
