Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
