so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
