He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
