I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
