Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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