that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
