Me. At least after what I've been through.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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