i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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