Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Be still, my beating vagina.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
