I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
