Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
